Keep it togther.

Greenville, SC to Philadelphia, PA

As I checkin, I was told my seat had been changed to an exit seat. “Is that ok?”, she asked. “Of course”, I said, knowing I would have more leg room. The two exit seats in front of me are empty. The seat beside me is empty. Straight across the aisle sits one man. The seat beside him and the seats in front of him are the same as mine… empty. Surely there’s someone else who would’ve enjoyed more leg room and more responsibilities in life. Being the only two responsible for opening a door in case of an emergency, no pressure!

I do not have a stranger to talk to. Although I exchanged smiles and hellos with the gentleman across from me. It may be for the best. I’m able to collect my thoughts. I try not to think too much. I know what will happen if I do. Instead, I look out my window…. the clouds fill the sky and I become mesmerized. I find them so fascinating and beautiful. I imagine hopping from one cloud to the next. Bouncing and laughing.

As the flight continues and the clouds begin to disappear, I feel it. A tear. And another one. I feel the pressure in my chest and throat as I wipe my face. I breath. In through my nose and out through my mouth. Slowly. Deeply. “Keep it together,” I tell myself.

I look at the time. I have an hour left. Close your eyes, Rachel. Rest easy. I lay my head against the wall of the plane and try to fall asleep.

I hear a voice over the intercom. We are landing soon. I ignore it with my feet up and close my eyes again. She taps me on the shoulder. “Secure your bag please.” I open my eyes, adjust my seat and secure my bag under the seat in front of me.

Hello Philadelphia. Have we met?